what was it that u've said?

well, i've heard this from him many times i guess. few were said face-to-face, others were texted while some were through vicarious learning, uh..frens? at first, i didn't get what he meant, or rather, chose not to accept what he had said. it didn't quite hit me that time when he said he didn't had feelings for me. all i thought was, well, probably he was just denying it. come to think about it, i was pretty convinced that he might have feelings for me, like come on, 3 years spending time together, its impossible that someone couldn't develop feelings for u. that were silly assumptions made then. how could u not have all those vain thoughts when things seemed to go pretty well for both of you. or maybe that's what i thought. some peeps might have thought that i'm stupid enough while others, uh..can't say much? regardless of the seemingly ridicule or "no-comment" pretences, i was kind of comfortable with my own vain and egocentric wishful thinking. thinking that sooner or later, he'll get to know and like me. WTH was wrong with me?! was i too caught up with him? restricting myself to only getting to know him and disregarding others that were around me and limiting myself from extending my network. friends said that i was addicted or probably obssessed with him, that, i agree. it kinda scares me that i actually know what is going wrong with me and still able to somehow regulate and pull myself together. there are just times when i did not want to recover. i wanted to hold back onto the "nothingness". its a fortress. fortress to my hurt ego.

i am slowly learning to let go, though. it might sting, but hey, i gotta do what's right for me. i gotta emerge from my shell and learn to appreciate people and things that i've taken granted for, for the past few years. he will be my friend, a good friend.hopefully one that i will not forget in time. but if i do, its a charm that i have shared something with him.

so i was thinking, does the word "LOVE" only applicable to 2 individuals who like and adore each other or it can also mean one-sided adoration and affection? and i mean not only in romantic but also say,platonic relationships or friendships?

i'll end with a toast to those love-birds and also those singletons! i'm sure that it is just time that separates us from those who are already hitched or attached. and no worries, singlehood has all the excitements and revelations that are yet to be unfold. take your time :)